::hyperreality (Baudrillard is to blame)
3:15 p.m. - 2006-11-27
I have been very confused recently. I don't know what I want. I even forget thing's I've said or done, and I have a hard time telling what has happened for real and what has just happened in my dreams. I think my dreams are the problem. They seem so real and so normal. I've been sleeping a lot recently mostly because I've been bored. And my dreams are more like the ones when you're still half awake. I dream about writing essays, having conversations and what I'm supposed to do the next day. As such, I'm confused about what I already have done and what I've told people. Basically I'm probably just crazy, but you know. I've also been thinking about giving up drinking. It only makes it harder for me to tell what's real and what's not. I don't know, I just feel like I'm out of sync with everything.
I'm looking forward to coming home for a bit. It's not that I don't like it here, it's just that I need a bit of grounding. Also, I'm very, very poor and everything is very expensive here.
I was very pleased with Thanksgiving. I'd never cooked a turkey before, or really any of the rest it. And it all turned out really well! I'm quite impressed with my cooking abilities these days. I would like to throw another dinner party soon, just to show off ;)
Well hopefully I'll be seeing some of you soon! I'm coming home on December 18th!
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